she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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