My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
false alarm. still invincible.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize