Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
