Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
