I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
