I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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