oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
