he wants to bone in the snuggie
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
