oh god the rape fog is back!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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