I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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