That's intense
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So squirting runs in the family.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
