I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
