Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
