I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
