He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
