i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize