Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize