dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
