Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
