I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
