Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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