if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
