I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
