quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize