I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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