Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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