i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize