mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
