if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
