Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
