Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
