can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
