His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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