He is an equal opportunity slut.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
