gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh god it's open bar.
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