I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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