i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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