Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
