God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize