I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
