We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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