Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
