there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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