Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize