i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
