i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
