he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
