You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
