oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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