I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
