how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
