yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
