i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
