We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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