this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
