so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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