is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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