5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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