Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize