I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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