what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
