Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
