420 ftw
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
