i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
