Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
