I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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